Fix You: when you get what you want but not what you need.
In the midst of my recent obsession with the staggeringly talented Jacob Collier—a human being who seems to embody pure creativity and joy—I stumbled upon his cover of Coldplay’s Fix You. This song has always held a special place in my heart, almost qualifying as one of my Desert Island Tracks.
But this time, hearing it with fresh ears (and through the lens of my foundation year in psychotherapy and my current training with the Spectacular School), I couldn’t help but pause on the central premise of the song. The idea of “fixing” someone else—rescuing them from their own journey of self-awareness—now sits uneasily with me. In my work and studies, I’ve come to see that true change, true healing, only happens when we do the work ourselves. A helper or guide can shine a light, but no one can walk the path for you. That’s a topic for another day, though - but important to stay true to when coaching.
What really struck me this time was the line:
When you get what you want, but not what you need.
It’s such a simple idea, but so profound. How often do we chase after the things we think we want—approval, success, the perfect relationship, the next big thing—only to find that these “wants” don’t satisfy the deeper hunger inside us? The truth is, it’s much easier to pursue external markers of fulfilment than to sit still and face the real questions: What do I truly need? What am I avoiding? Am I enough as I am?
Many of us don’t make space for this kind of reflection. Life gets busy, and the culture we live in doesn’t exactly encourage us to slow down and examine ourselves. But here’s the kicker: when we don’t take the time to figure out what we truly need, we risk staying stuck in a cycle of unmet longings, grasping at things that look like fulfilment but leave us empty.
The older I get, the more I realise the importance of untangling the difference between wants and needs. Wants often come from a place of fear or lack: “If I get this job, I’ll finally feel worthy.” “If this person loves me, I’ll be complete.” Needs, on the other hand, are quieter, deeper, and often scarier to confront. They’re about connection, self-acceptance, safety, and purpose.
But here’s the thing: sitting with the question of your needs isn’t always comfortable. It requires facing the parts of yourself that feel unworthy or afraid. And yet, it’s only when we confront those shadows that we can begin to move toward something real—toward self-love, toward enoughness.
The lyrics of Fix You remind me of this tension. They speak to the pain of losing something irreplaceable, of loving and not being loved back, of striving and not succeeding. And yet, they also speak to the hope that someone—or perhaps something—can light the way. For me, that light isn’t about fixing; it’s about finding. Find your true self beneath all the noise of want, learn to trust that who you are is already enough, and gently reconnect with the needs you’ve buried.
So, maybe the next time you hear this song—or find yourself chasing after something that feels urgent—it’s worth pausing. Ask yourself: Is this what I need, or is it just what I think I should want? The answers might surprise you.
And in the meantime, go check out Jacob Collier’s cover of Fix You. It’s glorious.
