On Ecstasy
I am delighted to be on Dr Sarah Madigan’s leadership team for her upcoming Be Ecstatic Event in Scotland this weekend. As I write this, it’s not too late to attend!
Sarah has asked us to reflect on what Ecstasy means to us. So, I thought I would share it with you.
For starters, it is no wonder that Ecstasy is the street name for MDMA!
Ecstasy is an emotion that can also be described as an altered state of consciousness. The word ecstasy comes from the Greek word ékstasis, which means "to step outside oneself". People who experience ecstasy feel extremely happy.
Ecstasy can be induced by drugs, physical excitement, or psychological means. It can lead to a strong and permanent change in a person's worldview and value system and this is why I have turned to Coaching rather than Psychotherapy as a space in which to work.
To me, being ecstatic means embracing the fullness of life by welcoming the flow of all emotions—hope, gratitude, awe, and joy, alongside loss, pain, and uncertainty.
It’s the art of living in possibility, where we allow emotions to pass through us without attachment, acknowledging each as a transient state rather than a defining feature of who we are.
True ecstasy resides in this balanced awareness, moving beyond rigid black-and-white thinking and entering a space where both pain and joy coexist. It’s about living in awe of life’s complexity, grounded in the idea that nothing we feel is permanent, and yet every experience can be deeply felt, enriching our journey
Ecstatic emotions elevate our sense of wonder and connection, making us feel deeply alive, often transcending ordinary experiences. They can be intense, expansive, and often feel transformative. Here are some emotions often associated with ecstasy:
1. Awe – A feeling of reverence and amazement, often experienced when confronted with something vast or sublime, like nature, music or art. I love the concept of Collective Effervescence that Dacher Keltner writes about in his book “Awe”. I recommend listening to his podcast interview with Steven Bartlett here on spotify
2. Joy – A profound sense of happiness that goes beyond pleasure, rooted in a sense of meaning or presence.
3. Gratitude – A deep appreciation for life, people, or experiences that can be grounding and uplifting simultaneously.
4. Love – The feeling of connection, compassion, and warmth towards oneself or others that often expands our sense of self.
5. Hope – A forward-looking emotion that inspires optimism and resilience, often accompanied by a sense of possibility and renewal. (although Brené Brown argues that Hope is not an emotion but a way of thinking or a cognitive process. Emotions play a supporting role. I will write separately on this in the future, but in the meantime, I highly recommend reading Guidepost #3 of Brené’s book “The Gifts of Imperfection”)
6. Peace – A calmness and acceptance that can feel powerful, especially when it allows us to be fully present and let go of tension.
7. Transcendence – A sense of going beyond ordinary limits, whether through spiritual experiences, profound insight, or peak moments in creativity or flow.
These emotions create an openness to life’s depth and beauty, bridging us to something greater than ourselves, and allowing us to experience the world with a sense of vitality and presence.
So, how do we access more ecstasy in our lives?
Here are a few more thoughts; there is nothing new here, but it is worth reminding ourselves:
1. Seek Awe in Nature: Spend time in nature, whether on a hike, at the beach, or simply observing a sunrise. Allow yourself to experience the vastness and beauty around you fully. Observing something bigger than yourself can often evoke feelings of awe and wonder.
2. Practice Daily Gratitude: Set aside a moment each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for, no matter how small. Cultivating gratitude can shift your perspective, grounding you in positivity and expanding your sense of fulfilment.
3. Engage in Creative Flow: Pursue activities that put you into a “flow state,” such as painting, writing, or playing music. These moments of immersion can offer a deep sense of connection, transcending ordinary experience.
4. Connect Deeply with Others: Take time for heartfelt conversations and practice active listening. Building meaningful relationships can bring joy, love, and a sense of belonging that makes life feel richer and more vibrant.
5. Embrace Mindfulness and Presence: Incorporate mindful practices like meditation, breathwork (shout out to the wonderful Sophie Brigstocke), or even mindful walking. Being fully present allows emotions to flow through you, helping you experience each one without attachment.
6. Reflect on Hope and Possibility: Revisit your dreams and aspirations, visualising what is possible for your life. Embracing hope as a guiding mindset can help you approach life’s uncertainties with resilience and optimism.
By regularly integrating these practices, you can open yourself to moments of ecstasy and deepen your connection to life’s awe-inspiring experiences—no substances required!
Here’s a personal share: one of the most powerful ways I’ve accessed emotional ecstasy is by bringing shame into the light. Shame thrives in darkness but fades when exposed to the light. Finding trusted friends who’ve earned the right to hear my story—who offer a safe space for my vulnerability—has allowed me to let go of shame and step into a far deeper sense of joy and freedom than I ever imagined.
